funny responses to what are you doing this weekend

All five are initial questions, appropriate for a relatively fast . You just reminded me of the ex-husband of a friend I used to know. At the same time, someone can just say oh not much if they dont wanna share, which is what I do if my plans that night are private eg therapy. Shes right to find it othering and exhausting. My response if Im up for it is Looking like a fun one, but did you have something in mind? If Im probably not up for it I say All the things! Wow is all I got. For people Im close enough to be snarky with Its depends Are you asking for fun or work?, I like this, but Id go maximum snark and phrase it as, Is this about business or pleasure?, I say Ill have to check. That is my current standard response. Most people would rather talk about themselves than anyone else, so turning the question back to them will almost always divert them from further questions about what Im doing. I have a group of friends now whom I trust not to give me a hard time about the explicit choice to paint my toenails in front of Netflix instead of going out. (I am also not her only parent, so I dont get to act unilaterally. But it needs to be a set rent, that can be codified and set down in a form you could use with any other adult, should the fancy take you. Sometimes this takes several rounds before everyone realizes theyve done their line but missed their cue. You're not obligated to tell others your plans for the future, if you even have them. In these cases, we are all just curious and looking for stuff to talk about. I get it from friends (who usually just want to find a time to hang and thats not so bad), my cousin (who usually wants me to babysit), my mom (whenever she wants to invite me somewhere), and people Im chatting with on dating websites. It gives the impression that Id rather do nothing than spend time with you or help you with something (which may very well be true, but is often not a conversation worth having). I usually respond Why do you need to know? unless its someone I really trust. In the case of friends and dates, I feel like sometimes its a slightly manipulative way of getting me to do the actual asking / planning. The pushback on needing brain time though makes sense. Especially if I have reason to suspect its just going to be some variation of wanna hang out? if you have something concrete to suggest, lead with that! Then match the sentences with the correct picture. It forces the manipulators to cough up some version of their agendas, and galvanizes the friends with vague plans into issuing an actual invitation. I feel like something mundane like chores will get some pushback, or wont be seen as a task that takes up the whole day(s) off (if I do laundry Saturday, I can still go out Sunday! You know, I just had a *very* amusing misunderstanding with a facebook friend who was ranting about MLM (which I thought was the wlw type of MLM). Can you repeat what you just said? Im white. Leisure time is notI give up my leisure time to hem her pants or help her move back from college or make her dinner. I m trying to understand the other side, all those people who say they do this to make declining easier, but it just makes no sense to me. If youd rather not, I would love to immediately pretend this never happened and talk about dinosaurs for the next ten minutes, and then never bring it up again. Or something. "Weekends are days to refuel your soul and to be grateful for the blessings that you have." - Anonymous 2. Jana: I'm good. I usually end up saying something noncommittal like I might be doing xyz, but Im not sure yet why? and waiting to see what the actual deal is. I think it depends a lot on context. Thats the way to go. However, if you and/or your husband have used that phrase in the past where she is included in the We, shes not mishearing you/he are misspeaking. There were several problems that led to the death of that relationship, but communication (on both sides) was for sure one of them. When I tell you Ill be meal planning this weekend thats not an invitation for you to tell me all of your diet ideas and which meals are healthier. For acquaintances, the way you do in Sweden will also work in the US. Try delaying your answer and then see if taking the pressure off yourself to answer the question or commit to stuff helps you feel less annoyed by this question. Saying no at that point feels rude, and yeah some people have reacted badly. You just need to say, like, Oh, not sure yet, how about you?. Probably just working on some homework. He said, Oh yeah? and just went on, no indication that he was asking for any reason other than general curiosity. I can ask them on Monday how it was. Rock on, Helen. Xoxo. Do you like, like me? 3. But yeah. I am eating. This strikes me as so strange! I read that post all the time. What are the usual scripts? Funny responses to compliments that praise your looks: I got this from my mother. not? But I explained that I feel like Im being put on the spot- and I would prefer that she just ask me what she wants. What are you doing tomorrow? Vacuuming the cat. That it can be based on something as intangible as a mood. LW, I forgot the part where you said some of this is coming from people youre chatting to on dating websites, and you feel like its an attempt to get you to plan the date. He's finally seen the light and realized you're meant to be together took him long enough. Here we're providing you with some better ways to respond to when your partner or girlfriend says, I hate you when you know they say it jokingly. Were having a party. Oh man.I think this sort of thing bugs me because my dad very carefully taught me to ask/invite people for a specific activity/time precisely to avoid this scenario. I am admittedly very sensitive to potential power issues, so I have a hard time seeing when theyre really there and when Im just reacting as though they are. Im not talking about not dealing with this. 110 Weekend Quotes to Wish You a Restful Break - Quote Ambition hours of 8 p.m. and 1 a.m. on Friday and Saturday because it will make you seem like you don't have anything better to do on the weekend. Are you me? "You know I can do this anytime.". It shows that you're a calm and cool person who is easy to talk to and has no problem whether someone says hey or hello. Especially as its usually done over text, which (to me) precludes the idea of it being small talk. Many of your comments in this thread have, in fact. New day, old me, just doing routine stuff. Me: yes! or no, sorry. 'Hope You're Well': Emailing Through a Time of Pandemic Published April 10, 2020 "How are you doing right now?" That's the question I've been defaulting to on the phone, over text, and over Zoom chats during this time of ballooning,. Detailing the event and a specific date is best. And just because my plans dont include hanging out with anyone or leaving my home, it doesnt mean that I am free or willing to cancel them. Just about the only good answer is, That doesnt work for me/us, followed by, Asked and answered, when they dont want to take that answer. When someone is fishing for a date or a maybe-babysitter, though, I turn it right back around on them. As I explained, however, sometimes responding to a compliment requires a funny response. Ill have to check with E and let you know is super convenient. It changed how I felt about her for a long time. and get back to work.) Reply with 'Hey' Back. And LW is already handling the situation in the best possible way by giving noncommittal answers. Im right there with you. and then if I do end up wanting to do whatever it is they want to do, suddenly my schedule cleared up! And I mean, its legit to decide that youre willing to pay the cost, that youre okay with people deciding that you are unsociable or unfriendly or rude. (In this case it was never exactly meant to result in actually doing anything), Them We need to have lunch soon Yes! Its great! I get you wanting to be met at the airport under those circumstances. ), (4) I just found a salamander, can I put it in your mouth?. and the goal is to just be ok with letting them down when they are the ones who have set an unagreed demand on your time. *In my case, Z has agreed to push the Ask her yourself button instead of passing messages along. Your parent or in-law will not die if they cant railroad your schedule. As in, What are you doing? is another way of asking What are your hobbies?. LWs parent. And we do know that extreme surveillance is a very brutal and destructive form of torture. I felt disliked, maybe undervalued, often embarrassed (and some of that came from my own brainweasles or ablism in broader society, not primarily my parents) but never unsafe. It gives them nothing, and forces them to divulge their plans. As others have mentioned, if I say yes Im free and then they offer something I dont want, then I *really* feel the pressure to say yes because Ive already essentially told them I have nothing better to do. One of my friends always answered (very cheerily): Dont know! Amusing to think of borrowing a line from upthread: Well, it sounds like youre inviting me to something interesting! Fine, thanks.. When Im asked that question (by people other than DD), I usually go with Why do you ask?. have a Canadian accent that some USians pick up, and I dont mind if people ask if Im Canadian). Of course, he keeps doing it his way, so I just ask dunno, why? My DH reminds me when predictable events are coming up and advises me to fill up my calendar! Now shes supposed to go on a date with me if I ask for one!. But sometimes its manipulative, as LW also said. Well, have fun whatever you end up doing / decide to do. Thank you. If one of us is dropping the ball about getting back to you, say so. And to this day, unless its a good friend with whom I know I can say eh I just dont feel up to what you suggested even though Im not busy, I get anxious whenever someone pulls the so what are you up to on X day? question. Ive found that Why do you ask? comes across as a little cold or accusatory over text, but can be really warm/ friendly in person or over the phone. .except I have a ton of folks in my life who literally ask this to trap me into doing things for them, so thinking their intent is innocuous after being shown time and again it isnt, doesnt necessarily fit the bill- specifically based on the reasoning LW gives. N- New adventure. She does recognize that its a way people make small talk and that its not likely to go away any time soon. Its real. Theres an important underlying truth here that I think we all have trouble with: We are not required to answer every question put to us. If it is in fact a lead up to an invitation or request I can always either find room for it or say I dont have time. Youve made such a long-term investment in your child already why put the future relationship at such risk? Me: .No. I ticked the following boxes: 1) had conversation, 2) got her to talk about herself, 3) gave her questions so she could talk about herself some more to make her feel good, 4) she was talking to me, AND I saw her smile! Everyone knows most people mean it well, its small talk, etc but these things ARE not nice to be the receiver of. Need some help actually. I disagree concerning the Where are you from? part. Me: Nope. Which is honest at least. Im sure its benignly intended but its intrusive. ? comments. Your kids are loud. Nobody seems to be doing well by this arrangement. If the reason for you that you daughter should help you at X time with X thing is because family, is the reverse also true? It could trick your family members into thinking that you actually have your life together. And Im feeling like, right, not only do I not know how to negotiate this myself, I also dont know what to tell my kid to say in this situation. Its all the other situations I listed that bother me the ones where I dont always know the purpose of the question / true intent of the asker, or I suspect its to get me to do something. I see it my grandmothers A LOT, and how its been passed down to their daughters mainly. 8. I wish the day also comes with a lot of fun and blessing for you. Those things influence what I ask of my kid, and they influence how I ask it. 79 Funny And Flirty Response To "I Hate You" Better Responses I miss you though, can we plan dinner soon? And I have a date Saturday, but I would love to get a phone call-catchup on the calendar if youre freemaybe Sunday afternoon? (These examples are all people I want to spend time with I also use a lot of swamped this weekend! Texting or sending an email to someone. On a walk with my dinosaur. Hello, theres a related phenomenon of *cashiers who dont know you* asking the question. My friends do it alllll the time. Here's a more thorough list of things Siri manages to do well most of the time: Making a call / Facetime. I think we can get trapped in endless circles of soft invitations where neither person ever gets the push to move forward, so Ive tried to get more into the habit of being explicit about a desire for the other person to act. Its only a trap when the same people use it repeatedly to rope you in to doing something you would otherwise be able to avoid gracefully. And that goes triple if youre less privileged. Call me. Does *your* phone not work? Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" What does it look like I'm doing? Funny Responses to Rude Comments Sorry fella, I don't have the energy to pretend to like you today. If they play extra coy with me, Ill just be extra cryptic in return. 15 Customer Service Email Response Samples for Any Situation 2, They ask assuming Im also from somwhere else, prepared to bond over that and my answer is almost always a small dissapointment and Im never sure quite what to do with that. Sometimes I think if Im going to make something up it might as well be along the lines of going to the moon or whatever. UGH. Theres still room for her to refuse. Question. I probably picked it up from my mom, who does the same thing. Hence the claim some of your time, or even the if youre available as a way to say, you have to have solid plans if youre going to tell me no; you cant just say you dont want to do it.. It always made me think I looked tired or upset or maybe there was something wrong with my hair, because its the sort of thing I would only ask a friend/acquaintance/student if it seemed like they were distressed. ), OMG YES can this question please die FOREVER? The only tricky part I have encountered so far is if you actually say you are busy doing [thing] and instead have planned to watch the Winter Olympics with your cat, perhaps do not write an update about that to Facebook. You (if you are not up for it, whether the reason is actual business or not wanting to at all) oh, I wish I could Your radishes that you consider joint family radishes because everyone could eat them? 1. My Kid: No (shuts door) You might not know exactly what you want to do in life, but you certainly know what you don't want to do. This way Im letting them know why in the same breath, and giving them a potential out. If she has problems with overbearing family, then she needs to learn how to deal with overbearing family, but shes still gonna have to function at People Interactions 101, which includes whatre you doing this weekend., Its actually amazing how much supposedly required stuff you can avoid doing by just not doing it (sadly depending on your level of privilege; Im speaking from a white cis-woman perspective). To put it another way, I guess: this is such a normal way to open a conversation that being annoyed by it means that you will be annoyed by a wide variety of people, forever. No, that is a very bad script with pushy family connections. Im surprised to find out this is annoying, I guess, because I am such a What are you up to this weekend? asker when I want to hang out. Its the best. The hubs and I do the same. It happens, even, as above, to straight white cis etc. But it puts me on edge every time I hear it. Nothing much (I have one coworker who now sometimes asks me What are you doing this weekend? Wake up late Sunday morning and go ride or play in the mud. Them (if it was small talk) *moves on to a different topic* I do have quite good boundaries with my family (after years of building them) and definitely only babysit when I want to. Catching up on sleep, doing chores, spending time with my partner. its BANK HOLIDAY?. Are you willing? or, if Im feeling that Im entitled to demand it, Ill say, are you available? (example: Im not going to react well if you want to play Minecraft instead of helping me wrap the favors for grandpas birthday dinner; if youre getting together with friends, online or IRL, or doing homework, OK). Im not sure it would work on modern creepy dudes. I actually liked her kid, and if shed just said she needed a sitter instead of tricking me into it, I wouldnt have minded babysitting.I ended up filling that child with sugar and caffeinated soda (he had a grand time), and forever answering Im so busy, ugh to all future questions about my plans. Its like theyre trying to help you come up with justifications for saying no before they even ask you the question. Yep, my wife and I too. My own mother STILL phrases things the way she did when I was a teen like, How would you like to take out the garbage? well, I wouldnt LIKE to take out the garbage at all! If those people have sufficient ability to cause difficulty or danger if they are displeased, it may not be advisable to say to them but not because it it rude; because those people cause problems when things dont go their way. If you use the same phrasing with suddenly a dramatically different meaning, its not other peoples fault if they dont know youve changed the meaning on them. Best Episode | Law & Order: SVU - Best Episode - Facebook Going back to work? "Continue breathing." BTW, the most usual response to that last exchange is, "Works for me!" Depending upon the sophistication of the inquisitor, the final line may be "Continued respiration." Sponsored by Interview Success Formula Job interview secrets revealed. For example, I used to host (board and card) game nights at my home, and Id create an event on Facebook, invite everyone who was part of this group, and ask them to please let me know as soon as they knew whether or not theyd be there, at least by the day before, so I could plan how much food Id need to buy/make. I agree with the Captain that its all about boundaries. 86 Funny and Flirty Responses To 'How Are You Doing?' - Monk at 25 Sometimes I go with something like, Im already committed to a couple of things, but they still have to get back to me about when, exactly, theyre happening. Oh, sorry, I cant., What are you doing Thursday night? I grew up in the Guessiest Guess household ever my mother once quit a job because they said they liked her work so much that theyd like her to do more shifts, and she was angry at being put in the position of having to say no so I didnt come out of childhood equipped with much of a toolbox for saying no assertively. See also: people who wont pick a restaurant, when the answer to every question is whatever you want.***. Its setting off the Gift of Fear sirens in my head. I have friends who do that, along with a SIL, and I also find it stressful/annoying. Alternatively were just going to have to start getting out of bed earlier so we dont run into them, but I suspect that if she realised we were doing that she might actually change her own schedule. Person A: Im fine. ? I had a boss once who sometimes wanted to know if I could work overtime on the weekend, but sometimes wanted to know if there was quirky events on that her daughter might be interested in. Silly Friend: what are you doing this weekend? Yeah, I get that it is a soft invitation, but it also feels that the hard invitation has been tossed into my lap. 2. Its up there with things like when are you going back home? or how does xy work back home? and other similar questions asked to people perceived as foreign (mostly for racial reasons). Flying in a rocket ship. . I went to a lot of meetings I did not want to go because of this, cause I pretty much was cornered into it after admitting I have not set plans.. But I like to think that Im better at saying no now, even though people do sometimes react badly. Oof this is hard, because how you deal with it can and will vary so wildly depending upon whos doing the asking of you. I guess its a cultural thing, I come from a non-English speaking country in Europe and here, I feel, admitting that you dont have Plans-Plans, and then declining an invitation, would be seen as pretty rude. Nah, Why do you ask is generally pretty safe to take literally. !" 6) "Come back here weekend!! What are you doing this weekend? We do this so thoroughly that we then have to figure out how to re-train them so this doesnt put them at greater risk in the presence of predators, and we dont do that re-training thoroughly enough. Honestly, about 90% of *soft* invitations to me fall flatly to the ground because I dont pick up the work of planning, timing and reissuing that invitation. I appreciate the suggestions about responses, having to deal with a pushy in-law (nosy for information and has a big sense of entitlement). If Im bothered by the question, I usually answer back with why ? or why do you ask ?. I also like the advice to just tell people I interact with regularly that I dont like that question. Umm.pardon me, I wasn't listening. Glad that this day is not that worse. That might be some of what LW is sensing in terms of it seems like you want to ask me but youre afraid: maybe for them, saying I would like to do X this weekend, can you come? is an invitation THEY would have a hard time refusing even if they didnt want to do it. Read also. What to Reply to "Hey"? 19 Effective Text Responses - Trending Us I also (insert similar hobby or interest). (You could also just say no and keep going, but that can cause conflict with them, which you might or might not want.) While we're sure there are plenty more things people do for fun, these are some good hobbies to mention: Outdoors activities like rock climbing, hiking, cycling, etc. Yeah, I do the same. Thanks! Which is odd, because if anyone has an aura of genius around them, she does. But most native speakers will still answer with the single word "Good.". And if I do want to see her, then I just tell her something freed up in my schedule and ask if shes available or if theres anything she wants to do. They specifically mentioned 4 contexts where the asker then does go on to invite them to do something or asks for a favor. Also works for the similar How ARE you? @Grant Us Eyes mentioned. Evenings and weekends may take us a little bit longer. Michael Wiley on Twitter: "RT @h_miller76: Had you asked me what I'd be I feel like its somewhat related to not saying no also). Because Im white, I fortunately have the privilege of knowing that 9 times out of 10 its just genuine curiosity and an attempt at polite small talk (theres always the 1 thats still xenophobic, though, like the cashier who blurted out when are you leaving, then? or the psychiatrist who refused me medical treatment because I should be going back to my home country soon anywayIm married and staying here, sorry to disappoint). Indeed. I tell her every chance I get that Im grateful for all the emotional labor she does with categorizing her friend groups. Then there is the Miss Manners rebuff, where the pitch is level until the final word is raised. Helen Huntingdon, I dont want you to think Ive dismissed all your argumentsyouve certainly given me pause and gotten me to think about what my expectations are. But again, that often leads to a fraught conversation or hurt feelings that arent worth dealing with. And partly because, depending on exactly what one wants and what cost one is willing to pay, challenging the culture is how it gets changed. I always answer with [local Canadian area], because its 1) true and 2) not at all the answer theyre fishing for (although I sometimes? Unhelpful? If I have no specific plans, she thinks my time is hers (but you said you were doing nothing! and she likes to be like cousin in example 3, re her children doing lots of stuff for her because thats what good kids are supposed to do (and if were not performing like good kids, then shes a bad mother ~guilt guilt~) and she doesnt like to ask directly* so it often comes across as manipulative or passive-aggressive). It doesnt mean Im not an interesting person or my life is less meaningful if Im selective about who I share the details of my life with. And making things even harder, so much of this is tonea chipper Why do you ask? to the above question is a soft deferral, whereas a flat Why do you ask may be offputting in a way that leverages a cost. I am a pessimist, so I assume I am pissing someone off if theres the slightest ambiguity in communication. Oh, yes, white supremacy/racism in action. So, since my unspoken fear in this situation is that Ill have revealed my availability for an activity I dont want to do and that Ill be too polite to outright say I dont want to go, I figured I might as well express it, even if jokingly. Speak to US respectfully. On the other hand, being around them makes my shoulders go up around my ears. Lead with the actual invitation. You may feel uncomfortable doing this (which is their goal) but you always have the right to decline a request. Instead of making it easier for people to say no, people find it makes it harder. This is something that consistently bothers me too although in my case its more just that I dont want to answer that question with my coworkers ever. (My brother and sister in particular also had to learn from both their friends and myself that, just because they love me and love them doesnt mean that were all friends) I could only imagine if that question were followed by an expectation of service or freedom to assume I was going to a thing. Great! The Captains advice is great. I like why do you ask? as a pre-programmed autoresponse, because it leaves room for them to stay, just wondering if you have fun plans, or making conversation.. Is it OK to invite the usual people? Is it a throwaway social nicety, or a veiled attempt to get you to accept a task or invite? Just kind of wanting to converse by text or something. I'm going to say this to my parents. Here in Scandinavia using this question might lead to really strange conversations since people might assume that it is indeed a serious question which deserves a serious and thorough answer (though this varies between different countries and areas).